Randoms that Don't Fit into Choonage!

Also found these pearls of wisdom - you gotta larf!


The A to Z of PV Meets

A is for Aeroplane which I am getting on....
B is for Boa, we're gonna have some fun.

C is for Coke to go with the Vodka

D is for Debs, she's rather Dirty, ya.

E is for Experience... The R-W-E

F is for Feathers...go see letter B!
G is for The George, thats where we're gonna stay!

H is for Halo; we're all Angels at play!

I is for Internet; plan our meets, you bet.

J is for Journey...soon we'll all be set.

K is for Keith...he's sometimes known as Steve

L is for LotsOfDrink, if stories are believed!

M is for Miles, how far we gotta travel?
N is Night Out, with the PV rabble!

O is for Outfit, we're gonna look real hot!

P is for Paula, she is Pervy A LOT!!

Q is for Quiet... of course we all are...

R is for Randy...Rena's our little star!
S is for Scrumptious... just me, thats Sam

T is for Tim, he's the singer of the band.

U is for Uproar... we promise we won't cause!
V is for Vale - thats where they kick the balls!

W is for Williams. we like to call him Robbie

X is for X-Rated, perving is our hobby!

Y is for Yarn... there's one we all can tell

Z is for Zany, why we get on so well!

So now you've seen what PV meets
Mean to me, you see
I've gone thru the list
From A, through to Z

Most of all PV meets mean
That good times are ahead.
Staying home? No thanks...
I'm loving PV meets instead!

An Ode to the Crew

Paulas off for a soak
Coz its no joke
The bath made a flood,
The ceilings a Dud
But with PV power
She can still have a shower
So we sent her to a hut,
No we’re not all nuts
For pizza to eat
Coz she deserved a treat!

Rena Rena, she a scream
Busy keepin her house clean
Working hard all day long
Not too busy to hear Robs song.
Likes to chill and have a soak,
Good for the laugh; good for a joke
Partial to the odd voddy
Not so keen on a hot toddy
Don’t call her Randy for nowt
You better watch out when shes about!!!

Dirty Debs is looking fine
She doesn’t really drink much wine
Shes more of a vodka girl
And after a few she’ll give us a twirl.
Loves the footie, a Hammers fan
Her bloke Mickey drives a big van.
Also loving the bloke from Stoke
On facebook she’ll give you a poke
Shes really is a great gal
Another smashing PV pal!

Hello Louise, remember me?
Scmptious from Port Vale you see
I had to write you a song
Coz I know youre at it all day long..
Working all the day and night
Sometimes putting up with shite
But still can smile and have a laugh
You can tell she’s a real Taff(y)
Loving Rob and the Take That lads
In the naked thread, shes really bad!
Louise is cool shes really sound
But doesn’t have many welsh pounds!!


Robbie's Prayer

Our father
Who art in Stoke
Hallow be thy Robbie
Thy Millenium come
Thy Rudebox be done
On earth as it is in Vale.

Give us this day our daily voddy,
And forgive us our pervyiness
As we forgive those that perve against Rob
And lead us not into temptation
For Vale is the kingdom
The "Angel" and the glory
For ever and ever
Tr-ipp-in.

Choonage....

So been having a look thru the archives (of my mind....) and found a few classic Rob hits - with a twist!
See what you think....

"Live Thru A Lens"

Wake up on Saturday morning
You normally feel like yawning
But not this weekend
We're seeing "Live thru a lens"

Crew's just so Saucy; Rena's all Randy,
Got lots of beer in, not drinkin' shandy!
Sam is real scrumptious - she'll have a double measure with friends!
Lou is quite lusty, Debbss is so dirrty
Don't forget Paula; shes just bleedin Pervy
Pleasure at leisure make ours a double measure with friends!

Just because we ain't double barrelled
Don't mean we haven't travelled far
To get to this bar!
Oh no there's quite a queue here
I hope the Voddy will last all night, oh shite!

Wake up on Saturday morning
You normally feel like yawning
But not this weekend
We're seeing "Live Thru a Lens"
And now our families' suspicious
Because we ain't washed the dishes
Still a pile there, well we don't care!

Olympics for lay-dees, good job were not babies!
We're looking real cool, makin' the blokes drool,
All down at Port Vale,
The Messiah, we're gonna hail!
He don't sound funny; he looks like a honey
From what we've seen he's well worth the money...
And you know he's a class act, star quality Richie don't lack!

Just because we ain't double barrelled
Don't mean we haven't travelled far
To get to this bar!
Mix a few Vodka & Cokes dear, an play us what we want to hear
We're behavin like "Hens" - watchin Live Thru a Lens
You're scared of PV lay-dees?
You're thinking that they're all crazy?
But just like you, they're a bit mad too!

Wake up on Saturday morning
You normally feel like yawning
But not this weekend
We're seeing "Live thru a lens"
And now our families' suspicious
Because we ain't washed the dishes
Still a pile there, well we don't care!

The Road to Liverpool

Save me from drowning in Irish seas
In Liverpool we'll have our tea....
What a lovely Good Friday
There's plenty funny things to say

This little song should bring the sun
But it won't shine until we've sung
We'll shop and lunch and hit the streets
A real cool place for a PV meet....

All the wine we bought was Rose'
All I brought in me bag got broken
On the Road to Liverpool (yay...!)
Ev-er-y train leads to Lime Street
Nan trekked thru town on her two feet
And didn't get lost along the way!!!

Bomb bomb bomb baa daa dom bomb bomb
Bomb bomb bomb baa daa dom bomb bomb
Bomb bomb bomb baa daa dom bomb bomb
Bomb ba dom....

There's nothing left for us to drink
A bunch of alchies; you would think!
Sink cocktails down in Est Est Est
Their Peach Bellinis are the best!

We like to sleep in the Holiday Inn
After watching Robbie Sin Sin Sin
Look at our DVDs and cheer
Coz maybe then we'll drink more beer!

Every meet we've ever planned
Has been real great and turned out grand
More Port Vale meets are on the way
Ev-er-y time fun doesn't lack
We party hard and have great craic
And thats the way that it will stay!

Bomb bomb bomb baa daa dom bomb bomb
Bomb bomb bomb baa daa dom bomb bomb
Bomb bomb bomb baa daa dom bomb bomb
Bomb ba dom....

Save Pervy - drowning in fountains
We'll be doing the grape challenge
What a lovely Good Friday
Scrumptious will soon be on her way.....

Millennium

We've got trains directing our fate
And we're praying the plane wont be late
PV Meet Up.....

Some say that we are nutters
Some say that we are barmy
but we're the force behind the crazy Port Vale meet up army
Gotta drink it down... and not fall down

Run around on Thursday
Packing up our case and bag
We hope Friday comes round quickly
And this week it just don't drag
Then rise and shine;
Party like its '99....

Huh huh.... ha haa....

We've got trains directing our fate
And we're praying the plane wont be late
Cause we know it's a great social date
PV Meet Up....

We're going to see Tim sing live
With the R-W-E
We're going to Port Vale FC,
And sit in Robbie's seat
Some friends, they are all so cynical
Refuse to see the facts....
We're great mates, the Crew,  coz us girls have made a pact!

We've got trains directing our fate
And we're praying the plane wont be late
Cause we know it's a great social date
PV Meet Up....

Come and have a go if you think you can drink Vod-ka.....(X2)

PV Meet Up (X2)

We've got trains directing our fate
And we're praying the plane wont be late
Cause we know it's a great social date
PV Meet Up

And when we meet we always have a laugh
I often think we all were born right daft
Peas in a pod...we all get on mighty fine... (X2)

We've got trains directing our fate (PV Meet Up)
And we're praying the plane wont be late (PV Meet Up)
Cause we know it's a great social date (PV Meet Up)
PV Meet Up
PV Meet Up.....

And we won't stop!

Rena's Lovelight

What are you supposed to do?
You not going to Down Under...
You're off to Florida
And your nerves are starting to show
You'll be fine on the flight
Just don't stop to wonder....
A little voddy on the plane
Will make all the time just flow

[chorus]
And we wanna know
Rena, when you're with us...
What are you getting up to?
Making a lot of noise!
Turnin' your stereo up again
What will the neighbours think?
We all know what you're doing!
We know it's not house chores!
Turnin' your music up again

(You did it again, did it again)

Rena we're really sure,
You're a bleedin nutter!
Wouldn't have you any other way
We love the fun that you bring...
Lay-dee you're on the phone
Texting away to Paula
Do you think you're 2 peas in a pod?
You know damn well that we do...

[chorus]
And we wanna know
Rena, on your birthday
Will you be perving and droolin?
Over some Robbie pics
Back in the naked thread again
Or readin some tabloid mix?
Gettin all hot and steamy
Making you feel so warm
Back in the naked thread again

Rena don't turn Rob's music down
Coz we just know
At Port Vale you loved to dance around
Grapes; we need more
Coz the challenge ain't easy girl
But dunno what we can do
Cause we found
You'll beat us next time around!

Keep you shining... your lovelight
You did it again....
Keep you shining... your lovelight
You did it again....
Keep you shining... your lovelight
You did it again....
Keep you shining... your lovelight
You did it again....

And we wanna know
Rena, on your birthday
Will you be perving 'n' droolin?
Over some new Rob pics
Back in the naked thread again
Or readin some tabloid mix?
Gettin all hot and steamy
Making you feel so warm
Back in the naked thread again

Runcorn - are you Ready to be Crewed???

The Meet! July 2010

So we have a bacon butty, cuppa tea and Cary gets her lovely girls off to school. After a shower and change, we are feeling fresh a daisy (pffft after a 1 hour power nap!) and we are off and about. 1st stop - Spasda. Booze and bits and bobs for later. Whilst we're on B words we buy Berocca... and randomly throughout the day a chorus of "I'm so tall, I'm so tall, you raise me and then you let me fall" can be heard as we are singing away to the advert in the middle of the supermarket! As you do, like...!!

Next stop - Munchies. Time for a quick brew and to drop off the sleeping bags and blow up bed for later.. 

Next stop - school. Leavers assembly - how cute was the school. Ain't been in a primary school since... well.... since I was actually in primary school. Which was a while ago to say the least! OMG! lovely assembly it was too. 

Next stop - train station. If you have read any of our meets, you will know that the Crew spend a fair bit of time at airports, on the road or at a train station... this meet was no exception! Arriving at the station, we saw Paula, Louise and Shelley all waiting for us... how good was it that all the trains arrived on time - YIPPEEEE! Crew collected we head back to Cary's for a beverage... blessed as usual the sun decides to come out so we convene in the gar-ding for a catch up and a bevvie.

En-route is Kriss and no sooner do we say "where's Kinky?" and there she is, bouncing through the door and looking twice as lively!! So we are all here... nope wait - we are missing Munchie. 20 mins later and she is occurring with Janette who is one of the new Crew members... Cary puts on a fine feast of food... num nummmms... thanks a lot hun - muchos appreciated mate! Lots of laughs already; Paula gets a few pressies seeing as its her burfday (Happy Birthday tooo youuuuu!) but no cake yet... its a surprise... the cat was nearly let out of the bag though! Bottle of champers for Mand - just as a thank you from all us girls for putting us up and putting up with us - its a reet good afternoon!

Packing everything up at Cary's, we give her other half his house back - thanks for the hospitality Mal! Into the mini mini and Kriss's brum brum we scoot over to Munchies where we are no sooner in the door that the drink is flowing, the music is going and we are all discussing the evenings main event - JK as Robbie!

As more of Cary & Mandy's friends arrive, everyone gets to know each other... the great thing about us getting together is no matter who joins the Crew, they are made to feel welcome. Just look at Munchie - shes part of the furniture these days... and Kriss - first time meeting us madheads in Stoke and it was like she was always part of the team! So we welcome with open arms Janette, Susie, Trish and Ashlea - the Runcorn rabble!

Question - how do you make a Strawberry Daquari without a blender or mixer?

Take your strawberries, place em in a pint glass and mash them with a fork; add copious amounts of Bacardi and Strawberry liqueur aswell as a couple of dashes of Cranberry juice and mix... take your ice cubes and bash em like mad with big wooden chopping board, then add to pint glass, cover and shake, shake, shake, shake it baby...

Talk about improvising! Thankfully they tasted deelish and the Rose wine was soon replaced by a cocktail or two ;) With Take That on the telly (on the tellllly!) we get our gladrags on, straighten our hair (thanks to GHD) and arrange a couple of Joe le' Taxis to take us to the Quayside.

With a big balloon all ready to surprise the lovely JK as Robbie, we get a wriggle on and manage to get everyone and said balloon safely into taxis.

In our little convoy, the 3 cabs arrive at the Quayside and we all jump out of the cabs. Slowly and carefully we get the balloon out - its still in one piece and we're doing well. Before we head into the pub we decide on a couple of group photos for the album, the enlarged Crew in all its pink glory assemble for roll call outside and we harrass one of the regulars to take our pics.

See if you can spot the balloon?!?!

After safely getting the balloon to the venue, in and out of the taxi without popping it, Paula takes a little hop, skip and a bump into the window that was open - the POP was sooo loud it gave us all a right fright and the balloon was no more - sob!
We then start a chant of one of Robs classic live moments - "Alcohol - yeahhhh, Drugs - boooo, Alcohol - yeahhhhh, Drugs - boooooo, Alcohol - yeahhhhhh, Drugs - booooo, Alcodrugs - AHHHHHH!" Passers by really do think the entertainment has arrived earlier and have a little chuckle with us (not at us, that would be just rude PMSL!)

We head into the Quayside, but not before we meet the lovely Claire and Norman - part of the staff. They tell us that JK has left the building to go and get some food - so we try and act discreet. (I did say try!) I don't think they realise what they've let themselves in for tonight and with smiles all round we head in and make a bee-line for the bar - well why not!

After getting a whip going and taking a list of drinks (to which the barman says we are sooo organised - I reply that we are professionals, this is the PV Crew after all!!) we get our 1st round of the night and find a table and a couple of stools. As the DJ starts playing some reet good choonage, we ditch the stools and make some serious shapes on the dancefloor. It's not even 9pm and yet you would think we were in a club!

Paula is busting some serious moves and we all get up to join her... good times..

Before JK joins the stage, theres a local band on, they're not bad at all and we get our groove on with them. Time for a few more drinks and a few more pics before the main attraction is on stage. Now... we still hadn't told our favourite Robbie Williams tribute act JK (as Robbie) that we were in the building. We were sure at this point he knew or had seen us - but who knows... The DJ introduces JK and in he bounds.... to the start of Let Me Entertain You... and jumps on top of a table right in front of us.

The next minute went something like this...

"Hell has gone and heavens here, theres nothing left for you to fear, Shake your *puzzled look* *pause**points at us in a line*..... now scream! So come on Let Meeeee Entertain You...!!

*mouths "what are you doing here?"* 

As the gig went on, JK was his normal energetic self, the atmosphere in the place was unreal. Everyone was buzzing and of course us girls in Port Vale Crew were loving it. At this point, Trish and Janette said could not believe how good he was (as they hadn't seen JK before) and Ashlea was up bouncing with us madheads at the front! It was like we had never been away!

Throughout the set, JK worked with the audience - which he always does, giving shout-outs, birthday mentions and generally skitting the blokes that were sat quietly with their pints - reluctantly present, with their other half or family! It is also really nice to say that we got a couple of shout outs too. JK always puts on a good show and we never leave disappointed, but to get a little acknowledgement for travelling to see him is also most appreciated!

Before You Know Me, Cary got a mention about being on Loose Women with her lovely wabbit ears that Rob took a shine to - of course later in the evening a lady came up to Cary and said "were you really on Loose Women?" to which Curvy replied "yes I was" and the response was dismissive "Pffft!"

Actually no love, Cary makes everything up. Tis all lies ya know! You gotta larf!

A bit of Elvis and the older part of the audience are loving it  - as are the Crew... Then a bit of schwinggggg and the Crew are up, schwinggging... good time is being had by all! The audience are lapping it up and everyone is up dancing!

As usual the end of the show comes before we know it and the Crew are disappointed as are the rest of the crowd... we give shouts for more and true Robbie style, we get a little bit more in the encore; before JK disappears off the stage for photos!

We take ourselves over the other side of the room, nearer the door and some comfy sofas.
More drink? Yes please and as th DJ cranks up the choons we create our own dancefloor and start throwing a few shapes! Mixing dance with cheese, we get busy shaking our tail-feathers! Once JK has done the rounds with everyone, he decides to join the Crew for a little catch up and a few piccies! As always he's a complete sweetheart and spends some time getting to know the enlarged Crew and new members! Telling the Runcorn Rowdy Rabble that he'll back in true Arnie style when he visits the Quayside again in December.

A few more rounds of drinks and busting of moves takes place - well the night is still young! It finally gets to kicking out time however the lovely Norman invites us for a lock in at the back back bar... JK nips off to get changed and we head round to the other bar - but not before we say our farewells to a few of the Crew. It's been a big night and a mammoth session - and some of the girls have work tomorrow which is a pity. Raiding the kitty we sort out taxi fares, lots of hugs and snogs too (no tongues mind) and its goodbye from them. Mandy heads home and arranges to leave the keys under the wheel of the car...

So round at the back back bar, we settle in with a few more bevvies. JK joins us with a few of his friends who had been at the gig and we start a huge debate on the pros and cons of the Robbie rejoining Take That which hit the news that week - gawd the House of Commons had nuffink on us. Considering Cary and I had had very little sleep, we are hanging in there and would be giving the young 'uns down boom boom street a right run for their money! Paula, Kriss and Lou are also in high spirits  too and we start a few sing songs... "King of the Bongo Bong" for Den... and "Paula in a Campervan" paying respects to the new wheels that will be occurring in Leeds! JK looking a little confuddled at our title change is given a bit of a hard time in jest "call yourself a tribute mate!!!" PMSL!

Much more chatter... Chiplash.... Welsh Pounds... Gary Barlow..... Trafford Centre Loos... Shizer - you're not German, are you.... Crackin.... Take That tour Bus.... oh too many laughs to mention. Topic of conversation never too far away from the lovely Robbie Williams! Its just after 3 and we say our goodbyes to JK, lots of hugs of course, a cpl more pics and say thanks to the guys in the pub. What a night its been. Surprises, dancing, alcohol (yeah, drugs boooo) feathers, burst balloons, and a good ol helping of the Williams choonage with some great people!

We hop in our taxi / minibus and chattering commences. How we have the energy I will never know. Then, as if by magic, She's the One comes on the radio and we're off on a sing song! Poor taxi driver. Despite the copious amounts of alcohol drunk tonight there is still enough in the kitty for a taxi. Fantastic! We get back to Munchies and head to the car to find the keys... no keys.... hmmm so with phones for torchlight we start crawling around to try and locate the keys - looked like a bunch of pink feathers casing the joint!
Cary has a brainwave to try and look round the back and we are on to a winner!
Having a debrief around the kitchen table and a quick shuftee at the pics, we giggle and talk shizer for another 20minutes before admitting defeat and hitting the hay. Another quality night.

Next morning, Munchie is up and the kettle is on, the bacon is frying and she is the hostess with the mostess... num nums bacon butties and mugs of tea. No sauce for me thou (sauce phobia pmsl!) please Mand! What a night! We hear from the new Crew members that they enjoyed the craic with the Crew and they wanna know when the next one is! Time ticks on, trains home need to be caught and one by one Mandy's house empties... this is the sad bit. Until next time though ladies :)
Paula and I are left - Cary says she will take us uptown for a Subway (official food of the PV Crew) So we head for a munch and more chat.
Theres a sign outside that says "Grants for Workers" but in her post Crew haze, Cary glances and thinks it says "Grants for Wankers" and we start to laugh hysterically. Of course no one can figure out what we are laughing at and of course a few strange looks occur. Par for the course thou, you gotta have a few random laughs to get you through the day! We nip up to the Quayside for a swift half, Claire is working and she is feeling exhausted after the previous night! One of the lads comes through the bar and sees us and mutters something about feathers - oops - apparently he had to do a bit of cleaning that morning... sorry about that.
At the bar we pull up a pew and Claire is catching up on what we thought of the previous nights entertainment. Glancing behind the bar to see what time it is, we notice that the clock is a back to front and with the lack of sleep, throw in alcohol and the giddiness of the last few days we dont need much to make us more confuddled! At that point we all look at our watches to be on the safe side and realise its time to make like a banana and split. Cary's mini mini drives itself back to the train station as we say goodbye to Paula. And then there were 2 of the Crew. Before my flight theres time for dinner back at Cary's and more chatter from last nights schnanigans! Thank you Cary (and family) for looking after me that weekend; dinner from Smilers was lovely and door to door service to the airport was fab! Much appreciated!

So that was the weekend that Runcorn got Crewed. JK was bloody brilliant as usual and no doubt we will be seeing JK again in his One Night of Robbie Williams show in the future. Surprises galore and of course lots and lots of laughs.
Here's to the next one, with some of the new Crew and more music from the lovely Robbie Williams!